A certain (dwindling) percentage of us are born with a very specific genetic makeup. It includes pale skin. Freckles. Fiery red hair. Some call it a curse. We all call it being "ginger".
Now, as a ginger, I grew up with a non-stop barrage of half-hearted insults and softball attempts to make me feel inferior to the garden-variety brown and blond-headed simpletons around me. Here are some tips as to how to deal with it.
1. Laugh now, cry later. Or don't cry at all. Just remember, you're easy to single out, and easy to tease. So basically, every one is taking the easy way out and picking on you. They're cowards. If they truly had the courage, they would make fun of Ryan Gosling. Because that takes effort.
2. Politely remind them that "carrot tops" are, in fact, green. There really is no argument here.
3. Return-fire with your own insults about how every one else looks the same, and that you can't tell them apart. Remind your brunette peers that they are all incredibly bland-looking, and you have a genetic advantage.
4. People will tell you the "ginger gene" is going extinct. Use this opportunity to tell the ladies in the room to "get it while it's hot".
5. Remain strong. Soon they will all be jealous. You look like a young Lindsay Lohan. Or one of those kids from Pete and Pete. You have character. You're a ginger. You have nothing to fear but the evil rays of the sun. Remember that.
So there you have it. Don't dye your hair. Don't wear a shirt when you go swimming. Just use SPF 100+. It will make you stronger in the long run. And once people realize the ginger insults don't penetrate your ghostly exterior, they will give up. Then you can steal their girlfriends.
