We've all been there. It's a saturday morning, you've just woken up not entirely sure where you are or how you got there. The light streaming through the window is threatening to blind you, a pneumatic drill is pounding away at your brain and your mouth feels like the sahara...only drier!
Chances are you had a great night, you probably can't remember! The good news is you will feel human again, here's some top tips to make the journey back to normality a little easier
1) Turn your phone off.
People loooove to call you at silly o'clock in the morning and inform you of last night's bad behaviour. Trust me you're in no place right now to deal with the shame. Leave your phone switched off until you're feeling stronger.
2) Reach for the OJ
Alcohol may be fluid, but it's dehydrating (I know, makes no logical sense!) so to feel better you're going to need to replace some liquid. Water is great for this, but orange juice is better! The natural sugars will give you energy to perk up a bit, and while vitamin C isn't proven to cure a hangover, it can't hurt!
3) Forget Marbs, eat some Carbs!
When I was little and had a bug my mum would feed me dry toast, mainly because it's all I'd keep down. Same applies here. You're sick, just because it was self-induced does not make vomiting a more palatable activity! Carbs, especially complex carbs which take longer to break down (brown bread, brown rice, wholemeal pasta, porridge oats) will help rebalance your sugar levels and give you slow-releasing energy throughout the day.
4) Love it or hate it, marmite is your friend!
Dry toast is great, marmite on toast is better. Not only is it less boring, its super salty and will help replenish the salt stores you destroyed with last night's activities. If you're a hater, anything salty will do, a packet of crisps, some smoked salmon or a bacon sarnie.
5) Have a shower you filthy animal!
Your pores are going to be excreting the poison you drank last night so chances are you smell like a brewery. A nice hot shower will get rid of tension, open your pores, and improve your circulation. Plus mentally you're going to feel a whole lot better once you've washed away the sins of the night before!
6) Pop some pills
All the natural remedies in the world will not silence the thumping in your brain as quickly or efficiently as medicine right now. Take two ibuprofen with a swig of water and the vice clamp holiding your brain should loosen.
7) Go to bed!
You are in no fit state to be venturing into the outside world today. You are literally good for nothing. Embrace this, crawl back under your duvet, turn on the heating/fan (seasonal), stick a boxset in the dvd player and let yourself drift in and out of sleep for the rest of the day. Start afresh tomorrow.